Once more..

I swear to god it's the 2nd time time i heard my heart break since everything ended.
I can't believe it.
Honestly, I don't feel anything.
Nothing...

I've never received any gifts,
I've never gotten anything,
Not even a note,
Not even a letter.

But what I saw yesterday was heart shattering.

I'm shocked.
I'm so disappointed.
Yet, I have to act like there's nothing.
That I'm not unhappy.
Why?

I am.
So fucking upset.

I thought all along, it was me.
Haha, I think too highly of myself.
Everyone thinks I'm the most loved,
But you're so wrong.

I'm never fucking appreciated.
Never given anything.
Never spoken to about anything.
Never written to about anything.

I feel like a pea.
A small fucking fry that means nothing to everyone.
I'm like this stupid fucker that appears at beck and call.

I'm never appreciated.
Never.

Never spared a thought for.
Never comforted when upset.

NEVER.

I have no idea why me.
Why is it me.
Why is it always fucking happening to me.
And it seems like nothing's wrong???

Ha!
Thank you, I feel so comforted about that.
That I'm upset and it's as if nothing's wrong.

I feel like drinking myself so drunk now.
What's the point in staying sober?
It's useless. I'm even more hurt.
There's nothing to ease this pain.

I really thought there wouldn't be a second heartbreak.
How wrong was i...

I'm fucked.
I'm so screwed.
I'm depressed.