The day i cried, for the first in 3 months.

I knelt in front of your cage, praying you wouldn't leave me.
I cried my eyes dry till its very puffy now, blaming myself.
I'm sorry..
For not taking good care of you.
I'm sorry i was never a good owner.

I loved you. I loved you very much
I loved you because she loved you two very much.
That was the beginning.
Until we got closer, affections grew.
Nevermind you two made me climb high and low in search for y'all when you guys escaped.
It's ok. I wouldn't give up till i found you two.

But now, you lay there, breathless.
I see you struggling to walk, to move, to even sit properly.
I hear your breathe weakening second by second.
I see you trying your best to get up when i touch you...

I don't wanna let you go, you know?
You meant so much to me when we were over.
You meant so much to me that i made sure i fed you two single-handedly.

I grew lazy.
I stopped feeding y'all single-handedly.
My fault.
I grew tired.
I told myself i will clean you two up but it dragged.
Everyday you two live in a place so dirty and i just don't bother.
My fault.

I heard your screams, i ran to you..
But i saw nothing.
Thinking it was nothing, i went back to the Tv.
But just now, when i saw you, i had the shock of my life.
My heart stopped beating for a sec, i dropped my phone.

I couldn't believe my eyes that i had to take to you to take a closer look.
I was stumped.
I was at a loss of words.
I couldn't believe what i was seeing.

Your eye..
Thoughts started running through my mind.
Was it that night?
How did it happened?
Did you two fight and this occurred?

Countless possibilities ran through my mind.
Countless scenes of how it could have happened was racing through my mind.

No matter how much i thought, i couldn't believe it.
Reproaching won't stop.
It's my fault.
I left you like that.
It's as though i left you to die.

I feel like some worthless crap.
It hurts me so bad, to see you in this state.
People are gonna laugh.
Ok, go ahead.
I know you might think it's just a hamster.
It's just a hamster with a dumb name called Ah Fit.
It's just a hamster that i'm looking after for someone else.
It's just a hamster...

Yes..
But he became my friend.
He became a hamster you wanna love.
He became a hamster you wanna look at every now and then.

Today..
My heart ached for two things.
It was when i found you like this.
And there was nothing i could do to help you.
I couldn't even help you ease the pain.
I couldn't help you do nothing.

The second, was when i found out YOU are not alone.
I fear.. I fear something would happen.
Something would repeat itself again.
The fear in me subsided and i couldn't think well.
I couldn't do anything properly.
But you don't know.
Oh no, you don't.
You didn't even bother.

While i sit here typing this...

I hope..

My heart wouldn't break tmw.

And if it does, please.
Just break for one reason.
Don't accumulate.

No one man can take two big heart breaks.
I'm definitely not one.

I've been taking in too much for the past few weeks.
I can't.. I really can't cope no more.

I don't mind being stupid
I don't mind being a fool

Just.. Let it be a give and take..
Reciprocate please..