Love, is never having to say how much you love the other half but to not say how much you love that person

Love, is never having to say how much you've done for that person, but to not say how much effort you've actually put in

Love, is never having to say how much you've sacrificed for that person, but to not say what you've lost just for that person

Quoting from a song, "You don't really know what you've got till its gone"

I thought i'd never lose you.
At least, not this soon, not now.
Things had to fall, you had to go.
So little time, so many things to tell you.
All those unexpressed feelings, all those unseen expressions.

All those thoughts of you coming back had me smiling.
Smiles, that felt so real.

Yet, facing up to reality is crap.

Every night, i dream of us.
The us, that used to make things happen.
That us, that made the world envious.
I dream that it never stopped, we're never gone.

But, every morning, i wake up with a heart aching so bad, no words can describe.

Yet, the routine still goes on.
Its the same, for every single damn day.

I refuse to look at my phone so often these days, for fear of the expectation of getting your message would be a disappointment.
My phone, is no longer that important to me without your constant messaging.

Then again, i know i cant expect anything more.
I know it'd be a chore.

Other than trying to occupy myself with everything else, i don't see anymore i can do.

I just wanna say something, i never had the chance to.

Every word, every sentence i once told you, i meant them.
Everything i've done to hurt you, i'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt you in any manner.
I don't mean this is no sarcastic manner or whatsoever.

And even though i know i should cease you from appearing in my mind, i cant seem to.
It seems to be mission impossible 10th, to be able to do that.
And to take things into a more ironic tone, loving you is worse.
Its totally unstoppable.

I know you're getting bored, sick and tired of all these nonsense i've been constantly blogging about, whining about, saying about.
But i really mean it.
I'm sorry, if i've been a total irritant.
I never meant for it to be this way.

And to all you readers, i'm sorry.
I've been torturing your eyes, mind and wasting your time.

I did contemplate of closing this blog, open a new one and just talk to myself like a stupid idiot.
But the total 286 posts i've so dearly blogged, are all here.
All those memories with everyone, including you.
Its sucha waste to just let go.
Just like you.

So i'm not.
Maybe i'll just set up some other blog else where as a so-called "personal blog".
Everyone's doing that.
I should flow with the crowd.

Alright.
Bye.