i feel like blogging. i suddenly have the kick to
cause i'm feeling very very emotional now.
emotionally sad. very very sad.

usually i wouldnt admit to yu that i cried
but today, is a exceptionally sad day
so i shall make an exception and admit.

i cried.
like a total baby.
i cried so hard, i'm still shivering now.

i'm sad cause something very dear to me
was destroyed. it cant be revived.
not at all. everything came off

the min i saw it, not only did the colour came off
my heart felt like it was being torn into pieces

imagine something yu love so much
that yu'll only wear it once

it maybe dumb and yu might laugh
when i tell yu its just a tee shirt
it maybe just a tee shirt thats branded and expensive
but thats not the main thing...

yu know how long its been since i last saw
my pri sch friends and actually celebrated
a birthday celebration for each other?

i'm one lucky kid y'know.
cause my birthday falls the week
they're all free...

and i was the first to get the celebration
and i had a special present.

2 presents. to be exact.

the shirt's spoilt.
cause it was soaked too long
and the colour came off...

i'm feeling so damn sad.

okay i know i sound like some fucked up emo kid
whining over a shirt but its really saddening.

sigh.
one BIG BIG SIGH.

then, i read a..
someone's blog.

and she made me emotional all over again
like everything she wrote is so true
and that i could relate sth outta whatever she said.

but i have to say,
it was a god damn long entry.
and i took quite some time to read it all
and absorb it.

its actually the relationship part
that i can relate the most to man.

but i'll talk bout the friendship part first la.

i kinda regret.
not cherishing the times i had with every single friend.
okay this is getting really emotional and
long and draggy but bear with me la.
i hardly get such feelings.

i regret not saying alot of things to alot of people
when i had the chance to due to my cowardness
i regret not doing the right thing for the right person
when i had the chance to cause i felt it wasnt the right time

i regret not cherishing times we have
for one other as friends to chat as much as we could
to do as much as we could together.

i regret so much. cause now, some friends
actually drifted apart so much from me.
it kinda sucks. and i get damn envious
when i see people knowing one another so well

i know it takes two to clap.
but it feels terrible when yu know yu're putting in
so much effort and not getting anything back.

okay i know. expectations again.
damn. yu know how yu tell yurself not to have expectations
but there it goes again, yu expect this, yu expect that.

shyt happens daily.

DAILY.

SHYT JUST HAPPENS.

and i'm feeling so compressed.
like someone placed me into a box
so small i cant even fit into
yet that person's still squeezing me into it.

i was talking to ah man just now and she told me
her life sucks.
so i told her life sucks is so common
i'm using my life's like shyt

and after a long talk, we decided on this.
life is so suck shyt.

it sounds good doesnt it.
well. at least its better la.

and she taught me sth new.
that blogging actually helps.
it helps yu to get rid of unwanted stuff hidden inside
and its known as "verbal diarrhoea".

boy do i love this alot.
it works so well.

next
i realise sth. but then again
i decided not to say it out here.
cause i'll probably get flamed. LOL

okay r/s part.

from what i related from that someone's blog
i decided to loosen my grip.
like totally. or maybe not la. i dont know la.
but i'm definitely gonna loosen my grip.

the last time i checked
i'm no where close to yu.
and, i'm nothing to yu la.

so.. i shall let yu find someone.
someone yu like or sth?
i dont know. i dont own nth.

aiya i dont know la.
i'm perfectly sober yet i feel like i'm some
fucking drunkard. wth la.

AHHH
i wanna get damn bloody wasted.
its a very embarrassing thing to not get damn bloody wasted
after turning 18.

so, i shall get wasted.
damn. fucking. wasted.

dont worry. i got a list of people i wanna call all ready.
HAHA be prepared.
if i call, i'll probably laugh and laugh or keep damn quiet
or i'll say..
"QI ZHUANG NIAO NIAO LO!~~~"

lol.

AH!
the person whom i read her blog from
that made me so wanna blog, is driving me nuts la!

this is the sth i wanna tell yu but i couldnt la
i cherish yu alot la!
cause yu're like..
like..
aiya! i dont know la.
i'm mentally drunk.

bye bye