This isnt gonna be nice

I'm sick. So very sick. So sick i just lost my freaking voice.
I swear i could see some strands of white hair growing.
I'm so preoccupied these days with so much things i cant even count them thats why i had to use much.
I'm having such a major headache, my head's spinning, i feel giddy, i feel nauseous when i'm on the car or bus.
Everytime i cough, i feel a sting in my head.

***********

I worry about this, about that, about practically everything.
And its enough to make me bang the wall.

So why at sucha crucial time, must yu do all these things?
Do yu really seek leisure in all these?
Clubbing, drinking yur freaking ass off until yu get drunk, calling people close to yu shouting in vulgarities, changing drastically to someone i dont know anymore?
Is this yur idea of some kinda joke to make others freaking worry?

Yu really think drinking and making yurself drunk is a way to vent yur anger?
Yu think yu wont get sober?
Yu think making others going down to somewhere freaking far in the middle of the freaking night is fun?
What the hell are yu trying to do?
Attract attention? Make others worry unduly? Make yur friends around yu all so anxious?
When yu're out there clubbing, drinking or doing whatever, we're here at home freaking worried and getting all worked up BECAUSE OF YU.

So do yu think this is fun?
Yu derive leisure or fun from all this shyt aye?
Why cant yu freaking spare a fucking thought for the rest of us?
Yu're sad, yes we all know. But must yu resort to doing all these?
Yu're 17 for god's sake. Why cant yu mature up?
Do yu know yu're driving me, driving everyone else fucking nuts?
What's so fun about clubbing? To get molested? Dance close to some nut fuck?

WAKE UP YUR FUCKING IDEA.

If, yu wanna get angry at this entry i'm posting, i'd be so freaking speechless.
Yu think yu're the only one with such emotional or whatever shyt problems?
Let me tell yu this.
Yu're not the only one.

Everyone else has their own fucking problems to handle.
Yet everyone takes out their time to handle yurs, accompany yu through this shyt moments.
Is this how yu repay us? By repeating the same fucking procedure time and time again?
Yu know yu cant drink, so why the hell do yu keep wanting to drink?
I'm so freaking disappointed in yu.

All those times we came out in the middle of the night.
All those talks. All those times i risk being chided by my parents.
All those times i pick up yur call, reply yur sms to comfort yu.
Anytime, anywhere yu want.
Whenever someone else calls yu to somewhere else or some fucker does so, yu just freaking abandon me or the someone else who's with yu.
Have yu ever, ever, EVER THOUGHT ABOUT US?

I dont mean to be so straight...
But i'm at my wits end.
I dont know what other fucking approach can i use anymore.

So many a times, i feel like slapping the fuck outta yu, yet i still hold em back.
I always tell myself, yu'll wake up one day.
But now, yu've gone too freaking far.

I dont care how yu feel after this fucking entry anymore.
I dont care who yu're gonna complain to.
I dont care what the fuck yu're gonna think again.
But let me tell yu this.
If yu think i fucking dont care, so be it.

And if yu even bother to fucking use yur brain to think, if i dont, i wouldnt even post this.
Think for yurself.

I hope after reading this, yu're fucking sober and know what i'm talking about.
I'm still waiting for the day yu'll be more sensible.