Feel my pain, hear my grievances, share my woes and weals

Day 170




I wanna run away from home.

I hate my brother. I simply hate him.

I dont understand why i have such a brother like him.

All the more i dont understand why do i have to tolerate such fucking nonsense from him.

All he thinks about is himself.

He's a selfish fuck. A spoilt brat. A dependent bastard.

He knows nothing bout thinking for others. He knows nothing bout genorousity. He doesnt know the word share.

He only knows how to play PS2. Idling his fucking life away.

Daydreaming bout nothing practical.

He only knows how to take things without permission.

He only knows how to fucking deny the fact.

He only knows how to ask for money not earning his own and acting like he's some kinda tycoon's son.

He only knows how to ask people to do things for him. Like, stirring his fucking rice with gravy. Like, ironing and washing his clothes last min in the middle of the night. Like making people buy things for him and not showing any graditude.

He only knows how to boot-lick our parents for shoes or some fucking expensive stuff that i dont even dare look at.

He only knows how to depend on others.

He only knows spending. He only knows how to spend the fucking hard-earned money.

He only knows how to order people around.

He only knows how to make my dad fetch him all the way to his fucking sch in Bukit Batok early in the morning when he can take the mrt.

He only knows how to wake up late and reach sch late.

He only knows how to push the blame to others.

He only knows how to fucking act blur.

He's a fucking piece of shyt.

I dont understand everyone in my family.

Everytime i go out with my parents, i dont even buy no shyt. And when he goes out with them, they buy him practically everything he wants.

I have to buy everything myself with my own fucking money.

Money i fucking earn myself waking up myself every morning, going to work on my own, goin home late on my own, working overtime on my own.

Money i have to use for my daily transport fee, food, etc. These are the money i have to use to buy my wants.

Tell me, what kind of fucking theory is this.

I dont earn much. Yet, there's so much i wanna buy and i cant.

I'm so fucking fucked up. What a family i have. The kind of fucked up treatments i get.

I wanna fucking run away from this family. I wanna leave everything. I feel so much like dying.

I dont wanna suffer this.

I wanna run.

But, that'll make me childish.

There's too much for me to take. I hate this fucking world.

I hate my fucking life.

I fucking hate myself even more.

I dont know why i actually feel like crying.

This a fucking biased world. Dont tell me i'm thinking too much. Its the fucking fact.

Just because he's a boy.

Then why let me into this fucked up world?

Someone, end my fucking life please.

I'm begging yu.