Regrets, Regrets and nothing but Regrets

Day 153



Was just reading a old old friend's blog. A old blog too. The add's still there and i just started reading and everything in the past started popping into my mind and there goes.. Reminisces.
Sigh.. Just wanna blog this i saw from that person's blog.
I dont know if that person will or will not read my blog so.. Yeah.


This story is written by a doctor. He works in a private clinic and on this particular morning, he went to work as usual at 830am. When he got to the clinic, there was an old man already waiting to see the doctor. The old man had a bandage on his right wrist and as he waited impatiently, he kept on looking at his watch, as if he was very rushed for time.
The doctor thought it was still early, and the old man's appointment was at 9am, so he decided to have his breakfast before attending to the old man. As he drank his coffee, he noticed that the old man kept looking at his watch every now and then.
The doctor thought, "I think it wont take much time to remove a bandage. Anyway, the old man seems to be in a hurry" The doctor called the old man in, and a smile immediately spread across the old man's wrinkled face. While carefully removing the bandage on the old man's wrist, the doctor asked the old man out of curiousity, "You seem to be in a hurry. Where are you heading for?"The old man lifted his head to smile at the doctor and replied, "My wife is waiting for me to have breakfast with her."The doctor thought it was so nice of him to still have breakfast with his wife though they're already an old couple.
He asked again, "Really? That's so nice of you! Where will you be bringing her to eat? I know of a place with very nice porridge."The old man laughed heartily and said, "Haha, that's very kind of you. But we always have breakfast in the hospital which she stays in."The doctor was taken aback by the reply. Not able to contain his curiousity, he asked again, "Why...?"The old man answered softly, "My wife has Parkinson's Disease.""Oh.. You are such a loving husband. She must have love you very much," said the doctor with admiration."In fact, no. She does not even recognise me now. She was down with the disease 10 years ago.""Then, why do you still visit her everyday when she don't even recognise you?" the doctor asked again.
"That's because I still love her. Although she don't recognise me, let alone love me, I still recognise her. She will always be my loving wife," the old man replied softly, with a husky voice. After the doctor was done, the old man thanked him and he left hurriedly. The doctor looked at the old man, and he knew that he saw something very true and pure in him.
That's Love.


I may not know much about love, but at least i know this old man touched my heart.
Sigh, i wonder if they'll ever be someone who'll love me like how this old man loved his wife.. But.. Maybe i only need friends. I just realised, friends really do play a very very big part in my life.
Maybe is the memories and laughters they left in me..
Sigh.
I really really regret somethings that've happened in the past. Things i shouldn't have done, things i shouldn't have said, things i shouldn't have initiated. Damn.
Man, people always say, there is no such thing as a "早知道" thingy but, c'mon, who doesnt say stuffs like, "早知道我就..blah blah blah"?
Damn it
I simply hate myself. For being that wishy-washy me. For being so irritating. For being so stubborn. For being so... so.. STUPID!


Afterall, i am stupid. Sigh. I am always complaining and whining bout this and that, but end of the day, i have to face it. I'm that idiot who's always screwing things up. And i actually push the blame to others. Freak~ i hate me. I seriously detest and despise my character and everything.
I simply suck.


Sigh, i just wanna apologise here. To everyone, i've been a totally loser. A entire sucker. I am very sorry.
Also, i wanna apologise to this someone whom i stole the story from.. =x
I know now whatever i say or do will never make up to anything but i just just wanna tell yu, yu are really important. Words cant never describe nothing. I dont know if yu do read my blog, i dont know nothing bout yu now. I dont know man. I know nothing bout yu. Okay, main thing is, i'm really sorry for whatever happened in the past. Aye, so sorry. Yeah.


Argh. I'm such an idiot. Zzz. Was discussing with goey. Even she noticed this. Lol. I'm getting strange. I dont talk normally anymore! In a sense, i'm always talking nonsense. I cant speak properly. The words that's coming out from me aint the words i wanna say. Shyt. Here goes again. I dont even know what i'm blogging!!!
Okay so for the next few days, if yu see me blogging freaking crap and nonsensical rubbish, ignore yeah? Dont mean nothing.
Also, if yu see me staring into space for absolutely NOTHING or i aint talking, its not PMS, mood swing or i'm angry nor sad. I'm just thinking of what to say and how to phrase em properly. Lol. I'm getting parkinson's disease too. HAHA! ...


A'ight. I wanna go bath. Peace yeah y'all?



Ciao