Sigh. What am i thinking man.

Day 127





Sigh. i'm at poh hup's now. Gonne stay here for the night. Haha, with wayne. zz two guys and a girl.


Uh huh. No funny thinking there. There's nothing going on. I'm just here for the sake of playing. Dont wanna go home. So bored.


Wayne is pure irritating. A total lamer. Lol. Cant stand him!! Keep laming around fooling around and stuff. Zzz. And he's telling me bout his game. -.- Anyway. he has his own version of jay's song. LOL. Damn funny. Like, the maggi mee advert song? he recorded the song and went like "na na na na na " LOL its damn funny. hahahahhaahhhahahahahaha, I'm like, moving ph's laptop away from wayne so he doesnt sees what i'm typing. hmm. unless he chance upon my blog then i think i'll die. haha.



Sigh. i dont know whats wrong with me today. something is so wrong. I dont know what.. sigh. i'm gonna give up on the extreme english session soon man. I really needa use all the singlish. argh. bull crap. argh. haiz. something's wrong with me!!! help!!! someone, can anyone open me up? aye.... haiz. i dont know man. sigh.



Why does it seem like, i'm such a .. hmm. asshole? when people wants to talk to me, i dont feel like saying anything. And when i wanna talk, the other party either doesnt wanna talk or they have nothing else to.


Am i really such an asshole? i dont know. Sigh.


I seriously think i dont deserve any friends at all. I dont know.. i'm so idiotic. Here i am, being paranoid again. And, there, another person will come and concern saying whats wrong and i'll shove that person away and we'll quarrel again. Haiz. There goes. Another friend. Fuck. Why am i so fucking paranoid? Why cant i stop thinking?


I'm ALWAYS thinking. Why? i dont know too.. I just so.. ARGH irritating. Even i find myself irritating too. i've lost myself. I dont know. I feel so diff. I feel so... Not me. I'm not me. I dont know. I laugh when i'm sad to cover everything. I cry when i'm alone. I talk whenever i feel sad. I get crappy whenever i'm fucking depressed. I talk too much and people thinks i'm irritating when i'm thinking bout something the whole day but i just wont say.


I seriously think i need a shrink. I'm fucking wrong. wrong direction. Sigh. I need a someone to tell me everything's right. I dont need a companion cause i'm single and i'm god damn lovin' it. I need someone. I dont know who.. Maybe it yu. I dont know.. sigh. And yu dont even wanna talk. I dont know.. FUCK. everything's changing. Why? Why!?!?!?!? haiz.. I'm so god damn depressed. Sigh



This is indeed an depressing week. Sigh.



Oh, did i mention. my illness just got worsen. my cough is coming and my flu isnt getting any better. to add on to it, my eyes is fucking swollen. The right one. Sigh..


Is this a omen? I'm dying?


NAH! crazy.


Bye~