I'm feeling sad....... why..

Haiz. Its 1.03am. I'm not leaving liao.. Well, not yet la. Might.. in the future. i dont know what date yet though. Will update on my blog soon enough.


Funny how people express what they wanna say these days. Why isnt everyone telling me direct, straight, face-to-face what they wanna say? Always leaving me in doubts and all the question marks. tell me! what the hell is wrong? Whats in yur mind!!! so i dont have to keep my mind busy thinking what yu are thinking... haiz. I hate this feeling.. Everytime i go out, i may seem to put on a smiley face but what the hell? who am i kidding? i'm still thinking bout everything. Everything that happened recently. Why is everyone so sad? What did i do? Let me know! i'm really lost. I dont know what to do anymore.. Someone, take my hand and lead the way please. I'm god damn lost in this maze. i wanna know, is there something i did? something i didnt say? something i said? or what? haiz.. I'm not in a good mood.. i dont know why. I just feel so lost, tired, sick and cranky. Haiz.


Anyways, met up with stefanie, kaimin and minhui on tues. Cause i thought i was gonna leave ler.. Okay la, so i didnt. But we went out. guess they'll slap me when they see me the next time, cause.... they gave me a hug for nothing! Kinda miss the feeling of being hugged.. so, yu guys better hug me more often.. Lol. we went around la. Dont wanna elaborate much. Went to cine then took some neoprints. Oh god, the god damn thing was so fast, we didnt even have the time to react. But, the second time we took, i got so bored i decided not to be in the pic. Well, of course, got a scolding from them la. lol. Yeah.. had fun decorating the pics la. oh. Didnt know cheryl was working there.. Saw her. Said hi la. thats all. Well.. slacked around then went to the Nydc outside heerens. Sat there for like.. Damn long. Then we chatted and chatted and chatted. Talked about so much stuffs! I even told them how i knew some silly girl.. lol. [yu should know who yu are] Aiyo. Made them laugh like dont know what.. haha. Okay.. shant go on to that. Then we talked bout alot of stuff la.. Then i kept quiet throughout.. Otherthan that stuff above. Finally, i told them bout someone.. Someone in particular. Someone who'll never be replaced. Sigh.. guess its never possible to forget someone so easily? despite so much blows.. Haiz. Guess its just fate.. When yu're about to forget bout that someone, they come around yu so often.. Yu two get to chat so often, sms so frequently and so on.. Sigh. Oh well, i guess its fate? I should just give up.. i shant think so much. that someone is the past. But........ honestly, feelings cant be hidden. Haiz.


okay, shant talk bout that. Went out with junyi today. watched blade trinity. not bad la. cause i watched the first and second episode liao. so, should continue. kinda gross though. no wonder it's nc16. but the punches blade and his companion gave to the enemies, were enough to set them spitting blood out of their mouth. Thats like.. so.. wow. i just found it amazing. cause so far, i think hardly anyone can make their opponents spit out blood upon the first punch. So, that left a great impression to me. Haiz.. realised alot of people was at bishan too.. see? mei yuan fen.. Bu gai kan dao de, shi zhong bu hui kan dao.. Haiz. wo zhen shi bai.. haiz.


i feel so foolish, so insecure, so dumb, so idiotic, so stupid, so silly. Argh. fill in the blanks man. haiz.......... guess i think too much.. by certain actions yu do.. certain words yu say.. certain phrases yu use.. guess i'm too thick-skinned. i actually think that, that someone likes me . Wow. Ha!!!! what a joke.. i'm a total thick-skinned idiotic asshole. i'm so stupid. i read too much into yur msgs. maybe i should just read the surface.. i'm so stupid. Until now, i'm still waiting for an explanation to yur every msg. sigh..


Arent i a fool? Damn. i got so jealous when one of my good good friend told me she's kinda close with someone else. and they've evolved to like.. talking on the phone, gossiping bout alot of stuff these days. Damn it. why the hell are they so close!? okay, i admit, i'm petty over this but, we've not been contacting for some time lo. then suddenly they so close. What about me!? ... argh. ZZZ. okay, i know its childish to be jealous over this.. but!!! ... haiz. AHHHH whatever.


Everyone thinks what i say is a joke. HA! look. The joke's on me now. I'm the joke. Laugh. Go on, Laugh at me.


haiz. getting kinda fierce. Aiya. i'm cranky. argh... i dont knoW!! i just feel like dying. AHHH. give me a slap. Everytime i switch on the tv, i hope i see S.H.E's "wo ai ni" mtv. Finally. Today's the second time. Its really damn nice. I really really enjoy watching it regardless how many thousand times i've repeated the song on my mp3, com, or discman. it just seems like i cant get enough of it. the mv is SO SO SO touching.. everytime i watch, i feel like crying. Haiz. Reminds me so much of the past.. and now. sigh. especially the part where i see selina crying. Man, i'm a total sucker when she cries. I just cant help it! i'll cry with her. Lol. dont laugh, but its real. i just feel the pain. and i'll cry. erm or rather, feel sad then the tears will be there.. sigh.


Sigh. this is getting long.. i dont wanna let people bomb telling me i can enter the novel competition liao. Sick of it. but, a blog's for me to su ku what. If yu all find it long, dont read la. i'm not forcing anyone to read. just avoid the site, revolutionsed-world.blogspot.com will do.


Hmm. Havent been talking to the silly girl for sometime. thought her hp was spoilt, so dont know where to msg . but, today, i saw her blog. Hm. Got a new hp eh? can msg again liao.. so mei you liang xin. Never msg me.. but, i was touched la. Her blog got talk bout me. lol. sigh.. sorry eh, didnt inform yu anything.. cause i dont know where to msg.. paiseh.. but thanks.. yur existance means alot to me. =) yu can ALWAYS talk to me bout ANYTHING. i'll always be there.. okay? its a promise to yu i'll never break.


Haiz. Feel like ending this entry but i got something to say. Yesterday, i msged one person in particular first when i know i wasnt leaving. But, that person's reply was so .. disappointing. Haiz.


I shall stop here. Oh by the way, i belong to mdm joyce and mum teresa now. i'm their bubu aka maria. zzz -.- oh well~ let them be..


BYE!